do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Randomize
