it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
BRING THE BAGELS
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
