Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
