Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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