But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
my poor anus
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
