i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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