Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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