wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
