there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
the liver wants what the liver wants
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
