You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
