Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
