i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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