mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
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