The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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