I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
vagina is talking i cant
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
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Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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