It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
