You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think I am morally bankrupt
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
