i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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