My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
