he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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