I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize