pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
