thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
