Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
