i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
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