xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We don't watch enough power rangers
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
