and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
