yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
