She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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