I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
