i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
