I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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