Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize
