I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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