I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
