Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
