I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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