If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
