hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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