like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
