East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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