You smell like stripper and shame
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
