My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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