I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
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I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
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I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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