if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
