PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
