that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
