sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
