Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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