Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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