I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
