I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
