Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she told me i tasted like america
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize