I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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