god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
