Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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