Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
