There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
