Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
