You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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