When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
only you would photoshop your dick
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
