I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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