I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm at about main and main street
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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